In reminiscing the past, I often tumbled between friends and love. An issue so complex to juggle it might harm your own existence if careful thoughts were not put in place. Several other times, they both seemed to blends well. So much of a difference that it actually co-exist and dependant upon each other. In my life, 90% of the time, I failed, miserably.

To some, friends are the key to their life, while some others, chose love. I am a perfect example. I would say 70% of my time are devoted to my love, 20% to family and remaining goes to friends. And I can assure you, my life was as bitter as it can be. Looking back, I never had a true spirited friend who would do anything (and I mean, virtually anything!) for me. Most of the time, only shared my happiness. That left me alone in the woods when the doom comes. Sick? Yes, I can pretty assure that as well.

Thus why I devoted my life to the one person who understand me, in and out. Friends bring the best out of you, but your love completes you. At least, that was and is still the case for me.

In my life, I have several good friends. But, what we really need in life is only best friend (s). I have a notable few, and a number of sworn enemies. Even so, I believed these same circle of peoples, experienced the same story..no?

I have been away flawlessly. Creeping into countless tragedies, sinking into many hurtful tears, drowning in the wonderful tastes of love and on..and on. The day has come where I should put my thoughts or rather ramblings into motion again. There is no other perfect place in this world where your voices could be heard miles away..than here, my safety net, a likelihood of vineyards of corrupt tasteful wines.

I’d reckon that there would be no other souls on our planet having the same sole reason as I do. And I’m glad for that. I’ll be back.

And oh..welcome back to Shah Alam dearest..you know who you are *wink* *wink*

I have been away for 5 days. Been to new places. And I enjoyed it very much. Got to know new peoples, and I loved them already. Weird, some places just make you feel at home. In fact it was more comfy than home. Expectations when I first arrived were extremely high, and I tried my best to meet them. But, as soon as I set foot, it felt like home already. I loved it instantly!

Many times I was treated like I was already someone’s husband. And you make me felt loved, most of the times. The dinners, lunchs and breakfasts, they were awesome! Not to mention the fruits. And also “catsby”! Hehe.

I am craving to return again. Good news from my parents were the bonus. Sun has finally shone on our world. Ain’t it so dear? We just have to wait for the time to slowly come our way, while shedding a few extra pounds of fats. Heheh. Come next May..we’ll be joined by a ring. And the following June, our solemnisation. With God’s will. I am eager.

It was the perfect getaway. To love and be loved..

“Just when you think everything was going your way, it went haywire. Again!”

I know how it felt to be in such situation. I learned my..err I lost count..lesson today..yet again! It has taken me so much paving way to happiness. And the next moment, everything went into drain. Frustrated I am, but I thanked the Almighty for this test. For the past one month, if there is one thing that I could learn, it was PATIENCE. Patience was not in my dictionary. And here I am building a castle in the sky, with PATIENCE as its foundation.

I have also learned that some people just don’t forget. They also do not know when to stop. These people that I’ve came to know in my life were the teachers to what I call, life. No one of these people really appreciate what they had in their life, but the good thing was, I learned from their misbehaving. What I don’t understand is, why were they putting their life to so much of pain, when they can just learn to let go.

“Promise me Jack..you’ll never let go..No Rose..I’ll never let go..I’ll never let go” – Titanic

“You may now kiss the bride..”

Profound relationship depends on many critical factors. As my life crucially proved, it entangles two human being into a very complicated world. Some may be comfortable to live in it, but to some, it is an undeniably painful experience.

Many have fallen into the trap. While many others, escaped unscathed. I have been into the trap many, many times. And, every time I am in one, my soul will be detrimentally mutilated. No cure can ever heal it. Ever. So, I lived my life looking for the right medicine to ease the pain. Having found another person with the same symptoms, is a blessing. You are, if you’re reading this.

She, I would say the best person that ever emulates me, my pains, my gains. If only I could share what I feel. If only I could make you mine, in a blink of eyes. But, that’s the prize for keeping up. With life.

Feeling gets lyrical over time. It takes a lot of guts and will-power to cope with it. You may not understand why such a rush. I hope you would, over time. Having found you, is like unearthing a gem in the middle of sandstorm. And, I’m glad I persisted. A gem like you doesn’t come often. Thank God.

Separated by distance, I hope I survived. It’s tough. I know. But, I will hold strong to the moments we had. Before you, moved back to east. I believed, I’ll wait and I’ll lived. And I hope you do too. Thank you for letting it out last night. You don’t know how much that meant to me. And, how much YOU meant for me.

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*Apologize for the emotional post above. I felt better writing them down.

P/s: It has come to my attention that some people were “offended” by this post. Do know that all contents on this blog are purely fictional, subjects of my brain-to-fingers creativity (or rather non-creativity). It is not related to anyone or anything, whether alive or dead. Sincere apologies.

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.” Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?” The man said, “Look, I’m a computer programmer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.”

*Now…how cool is that huh? Hahaahha…

P/s: I can’t remember where I’ve got this from..but credit goes to the rightful owners

13th December 1993

I was deported to Seremban, Negeri Sembilan. A land so alien, foreign and unfamiliar to the then 13 years old me. Excellent results in the UPSR exam has brought me here. At that time, Sekolah Dato’ Abdul Razak was so unknown to me. SDAR, as it is known, has taught me many things in life. It was here that I first learnt the values of struggle, hardship, self-reliance, perseverance and many other adversities of life. But, above all, I learned about friendship. A bond so strong, not even death could bring us apart (literally).

We have been named, the “94′8″. Those 5 years of togetherness, enduring constant pressures and pain, have shaped us into what we are today. Among us, there are successful doctors, engineers, lawyers, teachers, IT professionals and high ranking government officers.

And, come this 28th June 2008, we will be together again, in remembrance of the 15th years of friendship and celebrating the 10th years of time passed, since we left our beloved alma mater. On this date, we will once again cherish the spirit of “Once A SDARIAN, Always A SDARIAN!”

Note: Further details of the event, click here.

“My Lullaby” by Maria Mena

Mom,
please tell me what to do,
I’m so disappointed in you,
You said those words that made me cry,
And you always wondered why,
why I sing my lullaby,

Mom,
please hurry home to me,
I waited up so patiently,
You sat down and start to cry,
But you never ask me why,
Why I sing my lullaby,
Why I sing my lullaby,

Was it my fault they lead you in the wrong direction,
Was it my fault they didn’t show you any affection,
I show you and I start to cry,
still you always wonder why,
why i sing my lullaby

Mom why love me if your cold,
You’ll just get bitter then grow old,
Ask me when I start to weep,
Then I’ll tell you in my sleep, Why I sing my lullaby

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*This is one song that could perfectly be dedicated to my mom, as I need the same answers. Why I sing my lullaby…

“Don’t you have a better person? Are you serious?”

That was what my dad said to me a year back, when I told him I’m getting married. Ever since, my wedding has become a taboo, whenever he’s around. I dare not open my mouth again. Seriously.

To make matters worse, in my family, my mom calls the shot. Whoever my future bride might be, my mother got to say YES or NO. And she has a very high reputation to reject my choice. Heh.

I’ve never failed to impress my parents. Been to boarding school when I was 13, scored in exams, accepted to a reputable university, having good job and driving a good car. But I failed miserably in this silly thing called “LOVE”. Will I ever make it? I don’t know. I hope I will.